SS La Provence
Did you know that most butterflies can only live 2-4 weeks after they have hatched from there cocoon? How lovely it is that the caterpillar gets the opportunity to live two versions of its life, wrapped itself up in everything it has earned, learned and when its outgrown even itself prepares for life with wings. It essentially has bloomed into a slightly better version of itself than the last -it flutters with such confidence and delicacy even when the wind is strong or the sun hot. Landing on flowers and ferns for a rest before its next flutter.
In some ways I feel like the life we have here in California is my caterpillar- learning, earning-preparing for the next part of my life ahead. And as opportunities present themselves I feel the need to start webbing myself into a little safe cocoon. Gathering everything of great importance closest to me for the next journey and shedding the rest. Really not knowing that when we set the date and make the leap if the winds will prove to be strong, the sun will be too hot. I can only have faith that when it is our turn life will still offer us wonderful new opportunities, moments to thrive and that I can blossom into this newer version of myself with as much grace as a butterfly with new wings. Provence has been in our dreams for so long and as we move forward with big decisions it feels all the more real.
I am in the final few steps of obtaining my dual citizenship with Italy. Holding a EU passport is one of the pieces to our puzzle- it allows us the option to permanently stay in France. This has not been attainable without the love and dedication of my Grandmother Diane who set forth an appreciation and devotion for those who came before us.
Raffaello Bacilli was one of five brothers from Tempagnano di Luncita Lucca Italy who came here in March of 1911 with only 25 Euros in his pocket, he was 16 years old. Two brothers left Lucca and traveled to New York, passed through Ellis Island as did so many on the eve of World War I. He eventually made his way to San Francisco where he met Maria and married in San Francisco on the 23rd of December 1916. They had four children over the course of 8 years,, Annunziata (Nancy), Josephine, Louis and Yolanda. I cannot imagine what it was like to leave my home country at such young age with little knowledge of how to survive, english perhaps not even a second language. But they did, they found work, found love, in many ways they found the life they were searching for.
Annunziata was my Great Grandmother, I knew her as Nancy. We often would spend long weekends with her in San Francisco. With age brought a lovely assisted home she lived in with others. As a child I remember her sweet little room decorated with small special objects, photos of children and great grandchildren. Her bedspread always perfectly tucked. She was always with a warm smile. I was so little then, I wish I had known to ask important questions, to share interest in her life. But I was just a child then and didn't know that I would come to appreciate others' lives in the way that I do now.
Sometimes I wonder if I will be remembered, at least to my children, grandchildren. But as generations continue I drift further away, my time here on earth, my love, my work, my spirit- gets further away from memory. Had it not been for love of ancestry from my Grandmother Diane- I would have never been crossed with the opportunity to seek dual citizenship. I would have not been introduced to Raffalo and his life. Had it not been for Raffalo taking a leap of faith in a country he didn't know, I would not have this opportunity to gift now to my children. To learn where you came from is to learn a little of who you are today.
I remember at my Great Grandmothers funeral, we each were given red roses to place on her casket. I worried I would forget. So I picked a petal off and tucked it away in my bag, placed the one petal less rose on her site and walked away. I was 18 years old. Just two years older than her Father when he immigrated to the United States.
I still have this petal, lovingly placed in my jewelry box. On occasion when I open it, I notice the petal- I think of her. She is not forgotten.
Sometimes when I look to the past, I am able to make decisions about my future. Family like Rafallo who’s life is a example of making great leaps of faith in things they had dreamed of.
I hope that by obtaining this for myself and my children it is a way to thank those who came before us, to give homage to them. It is a symbol of dedication not only to their bigger and better dreams they had for themselves, but for their family. To know where you came from, is to have great insight on who you are today. I hope that one day when I am gone- this ability to dwell in more than one place is a simple reminder of those who came before us- to better the future for us. It is a reminder to my children and my grandchildren of the love I gave during my turn, my time.
I like to believe that God, Universe, or whatever or whomever you believe in puts forth signs for us to notice now and again. Little hints, whispers to us that mean “your in the right direction” “keep believing” “yes!” “go”!
Raffalo Bacilli arrived in New York at the age of 16 with 25 euros in his pocket, he arrived on the passenger ship the SS La Provence. ….La Provence…I sat with it quietly for a long time, I envisioned him somewhere looking over the water, perhaps he was filled with excitement and fear, longing and curiosity all at the same time and smiled- Segno da Dio.
Sometimes knowing where you came from is a map to where you need to go.
Pictured: Maria (Raffallo Baccilli’s wife with Annunzita (my Great Grandmother/Standing) and her sister Josephine.